highs and lows

i believe i am in a low right now

life has its highs and lows, and of course, things change with future reflection, but i believe i am in a low right now

right now feels.. uneventful, boring. i’m working, sure. i have little hangouts lined up, whatever. but i dont feel anything right now. i’d like to reflect on past highs and lows, and find things that could bring those up or down right now.

highs

one of my most recent highs was an experience for university of toronto, where for a while i got to stay in residence, meet new people, and see what it was all about over there. sure, to me maybe, the lectures themselves were quite boring, and i honestly don’t know when i’d use too much of the business aspect of the experience, but the main part that brought the event higher for me was the brief times where i got to speak with the other people there. the first night after all the lectures, i felt maybe a little alone. no one i knew was there, and i couldn’t tell if i would fit in. walking back to residence however, i got to meet a few cool people, talk about basic things, and we all got to joke around with how the bathroom door was locked from the inside on both sides, so we couldnt use it for an hour. then, over the days, i got to get to know even more people, connect with people who i had met previously, get included in various things. i got bought boba from a group that i had just met, just for being in their team for an activity. i hadn’t had boba in years, and it felt so nice just getting that. i had people compliment me, the breakfast was amazing, and going into it i honestly was in a bit of an odd headspace, but i was quickly pulled out of it. one of the days, i managed to sneak some friends in, we played goldeneye on an n64, and were the talk of the dorms that night. eventually, we all had to leave, and it felt.. awkward. i had met all these amazing people, and i didnt quite want to leave yet.

another high was september through to december of 2025. i had just started at sunrise records, and meeting and talking to people there was great. with that, halloween came around, and i was able to talk to new people, get into fashion more, and of course, halloween is always a plus. birthday comes and goes, christmas as well, which usually, im not too big a fan of christmas, but i was really in the spirit that year, and im finding myself missing it now. there are definitely things i regret about this time, and if i could, i would go back and change them. talk to people more, take up offers (one has stuck in my mind more than others), and relatively just have a nice time.

lows

this section, i will keep shorter. no one wants to hear about lows

..this is awkward. i cant think of any lows. i know they were there, and writing about how ‘i couldn’t think of any’, i got one in my mind, but its already too late for that.

future

i think things are looking up. the future is certainly an exciting thought as of right now. i’ve got a hangout planned tomorrow, work will end soon (3-4 weeks!), and im going to be getting back into fashion, photography, and whatever awaits me.

my future’s so bright, i gotta wear shades.

look up yourself, too.

heres this post’s song, Down by 311.